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| Writer | Lundy Bancroft |
| Category | Self Development |
| Language | English |
| Publisher | BERKLEY BOOKS |
| Publish Date | 2002 |
| Pages | 1020 |
| File Size | 2 MB |
| File Type |
I HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH angry and controlling men for fifteen years as a counselor, evaluator, and investigator, and have accumulated a wealth of knowledge from the two thousand or more cases with which I have been involved.
I have learned the warning signs of abuse and control that a woman can watch out for early in a relationship. I’ve come to know what a controlling man is really saying, the meaning that is hidden behind his words. I have seen clues to recognizing when verbal and emotional aggression are heading toward violence.
I’ve found ways to separate abusive men who are faking change from those who are doing some genuine work on themselves. And I have learned that the problem of abusiveness has surprisingly little to do with how a man feels—my clients actually differ very little from nonabusive men in their emotional experiences—and everything to do with how he thinks. The answers are inside his mind.
The people who can best benefit from knowledge about abusers and how they feel are women, who can use what I have learned to help themselves recognize when they are being controlled or devalued in a relationship, to find ways to get free of abuse if it is happening, and to know how to avoid getting involved with an abusive man—or a controller or a user—next time.
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